Insight into the path to your own self

Day: 28

Sunrise:
06:05 a.m.

Sunset:
8:11 pm

Total kilometers:
452

Soil condition:
Meadow

Temperature – Day (maximum):
30 °C

Temperature – day (minimum):
22 °C

Temperature – Night:
10 °C

Latitude:
48°55’401”

Longitude:
103°39’459”

Maximum height:
1379 m above sea level

Today welcomes us with wonderful sunshine. There is no sign of the storm. We are thinking about going to Erdenet today because of the failure of my Wechsler. The plan is to ride the horses to the main road and then take a car, which we stop, into town. Bilgee will then bring the horses back to the yurt camp. On the way back from Erdenet, we have to take a bus that will drop us off at the road and walk the few kilometers from the road to the camp. All quite complicated but feasible. Out here, the pace of life has slowed down completely and abruptly. It already started in U.B. The slowdown has continued in Erdenet and in the countryside, in the yurt camps, there is no longer a Western way of thinking about time. We have passed through the gateway to another world. Another world on the same planet. It’s wonderful that something like this still exists. This way of life is undoubtedly worth protecting and is threatened with extinction worldwide. What a gift it is to be able to experience something like this. Of course, I don’t want to romanticize this way of being. It has absolutely nothing to do with that. It’s a tough life out here with legislation that can be merciless. Master Nature or Mother Earth is good to people when they accept her legislation unconditionally. Here we are right next to the elements. Apart from a cloth or felt skin, there is nothing between us and the sky, between us and the earth. We are a part of everything that is. Whether we like it or not. If we obey the laws out here, nothing will happen to us. If we make gross mistakes, we will have to account for them. In whatever form. Mostly direct and immediate. In the cities of this earth, the urban centers of humanity, corruption, greed, greed for power, weariness, boredom, decadence, etc. prevail. Only a few adhere to the laws of nature because, we believe, they are pushed outwards. But this is a fallacy with unforeseeable consequences. We haven’t been here long, but the ups and downs we have experienced in the short time we have been here have already made me think about being or not being, about sense and nonsense, about important and unimportant, about happiness and unhappiness, about life itself. Although I can’t allow myself to judge at this point whether it was a good decision to bring us here to this remote part of the world or not, I know that we are here for a reason that I can’t yet put into words. In the actual sense, it wasn’t even a voluntary decision but a gut feeling-driven request. Not necessarily rationally comprehensible. The personal, emotional and financial cost was enormous. Everything we have earned in the last 1 ½ years is here in our camp. And that is certainly no luxury. However. We are now in Mongolia and let ourselves be carried away by the events. We must try to ignore the schedules we have fixed in our heads and surrender to the laws of this country. This also includes the indefinite and incomprehensible technical failures. Maybe I really should stop writing? Or is this just a challenge to me, to my inner self, to overcome these hurdles too? The fact is, at least I think I feel it, there is no authentic description of this journey without my record. And if I, as an ambassador for Mother Earth, don’t make a documentary, what’s the point of such a journey? Perhaps the sense of personal development. But is that enough? Is that perhaps even selfish? As a bridge builder between cultures, this is certainly a plausible thought, but for me personally it is often so painfully exhausting that I have questioned my innermost feelings more than once in recent months. On the one hand, it would be fantastic, even exhilarating, to be able to go on such an expedition without a power box, solar panel, laptops, four cameras, two video cameras, tripods, lenses, 15 different chargers and power packs, batteries and much, much more. Would that be real freedom? What about the financing then? What would happen after that? We can’t and don’t want to spend the rest of our lives in the wilderness. But financing is not and cannot be a motivation for such an undertaking, for our entire lifestyle. Tanja and I have analyzed this in hundreds of conversations. As a successful sales manager, I would have earned enough money to be able to go on many short expeditions. No, a very clear no! That’s not it. So it’s an inner drive. One destination. And if this is the case, then this endeavor has nothing to do with egoism, self-gratification and self-congratulation, but has a deeper meaning. And if there is a deeper meaning, then there is also a reason why this technology is constantly failing. But which one? Perhaps to make me rigorously aware of the madness of our fast-paced technological world? Perhaps to formulate these thoughts? Maybe to check myself where my real motivation lies? To realize once again what an important job it is here as an ambassador of Mother Earth to describe a life that no longer corresponds to the norm in our form of society? Describing a life form that is undoubtedly threatened with extinction? Not only the way of life of the local nomads but also the way of life of an adventurer couple? A couple who have dedicated themselves wholeheartedly to this cause. What will it look like on earth in the future? Everything is based on a process of constant change. Such a form of travel, a form of documentation, will one day be as extraordinary as the reports of past adventurers. And what would today’s world be without the contemporary documents of the explorer Alexander von Humboldt, the discoverer Christopher Columbus or the Asian explorer Sven Hedin? Without these people, our past would be poor. Of course, I don’t want to build a bridge between us and such world-famous personalities by listing them. They just give me an example of how important such trips can be and what people are capable of achieving. Strange that I should have such thoughts in connection with my ridiculous technical problems. But as I said, maybe that’s no coincidence because everything that happens makes sense. Ultimately, these incidents bring me to the reasons for my motivation and that alone is very insightful, even motivating for me. Challenge as motivation could be the realization. A challenge to find your way into your own self could also be a realization. The challenge of creating flexibility may also be part of it. The challenge of generating growth is certainly another part of this. Well, what more do I really want? That is undoubtedly enough not to throw in the towel and carry on. Continue writing. To continue observing, filming and photographing. Just keep going. Putting one step in front of the other in order to penetrate the mystery of life. With all its facets, all its highs and lows. An endless journey of exploration into one’s own self. A journey of exploration on the surface of Mother Earth that automatically takes us deeper and deeper with every step, every kilometer, until we begin to understand the all-encompassing system. Until we begin to understand the connections between everything that is. What a wonderful task. And who said that this task should be easy? And who determines what is light or heavy? Ultimately, it’s always a matter of attitude.

“Denis, isn’t today Monday?” Tanja snaps me out of my thoughts. “Uh, yes!” I reply as if in a trance. “The market is closed on Monday. We can’t go to Erdenet today to have your changer repaired. We should put it off until tomorrow.” “Okay, then we’ll put it off until tomorrow,” I reply, not clinging to our plan. Who knows what the change of date is good for? I get up from my chair to stretch my legs a little. It occurs to me that we need cell phones in the city to be able to communicate with each other. So I take mine out of the rucksack on the horse-drawn cart. “Can’t be true!” I exclaim in horror as I hold the thing in my hand. Yesterday the storm tore part of the protective tarpaulin off the horse-drawn carriage and uncovered the rucksack. The cell phone is soaked in water and completely ruined. Another technical failure. And what is the point behind this again? “Just don’t get excited. Try to dry it out. Maybe it’ll be fine in a few days,” Tanja reassures me.

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