Illuminating your own inner darkness

Day: 156 Stage three / total expedition days 547

Sunrise:
05:52

Sunset:
18:36

As the crow flies:
21,5

Daily kilometers:
30

Temperature - Day (maximum):
44° degrees, in the sun approx. 65°

Temperature - day (minimum):
26° degrees

Latitude:
23°58'42.9"

Longitude:
142°34'48.4"

Hot wind camp – 19.10.2002

Because the first rays of sunshine are already making us sweat, we get up at 03:00 today. By the time the glowing ball of sunlight rises above the dead trees, we have long been on our way. At this hour, the otherwise glistening rays are hidden behind a fine layer of dust. The light has a ghostly effect. The earth seems to be taking a deep breath before it gets hot. But by 07:00 the thermometer climbs to 30° C and guarantees us another day in the oven of the outback. We leave the Winton Jundah Road to visit the Gun Creek Well. “Is there water there?” Tanja asks. “I can imagine. Look, there are cattle running in the same direction as us and the cattle track here is also heavily used,” I reply confidently. Minutes later we discover a large herd of cattle standing on a bare area in the sun. In its center is a round basin, which is obviously full of water. As we approach, the emaciated bulls, bulls, cows and calves move away a little to watch us from a safe distance. We scurry down the camels and water them with the bucket as we usually do. We have to dip the buckets into the dirty water of the trough 40 times until our boys have finally had enough. Although they were able to fill their bellies just four days ago, they are now pouring 400 liters down their throats. “No question, they were very thirsty,” I realize and give the command to move on.

Satisfied that the tanks of our beasts of burden are full again, we set off with renewed vigor. With the fluid in their bodies, they are able to eat and digest even the driest bushes and shrubs again. One of the most important tasks of this expedition is undoubtedly to keep our boys in good shape. Only their health and fitness guarantee that we will reach the east coast.

After another 30 kilometers we find an extensive gidyea forest where we rest. At 44° C in the shade, we long to finally reach our destination, the east coast of Australia. We are in top shape, healthy and still have a good attitude, but we are still fed up with these moments of suffering. The challenges and tasks just don’t stop. Our brains and bodies are constantly working at full speed and we would love to shed all our responsibilities and simply relax. The highs and lows of such a journey are enormous and sometimes hard to cope with. Every day and every hour, something unforeseen can happen, something can come up that we didn’t expect and that’s what makes this life so interesting on the other side. Keeps it exciting and thrilling and constantly challenges us to remain attentive and open.

As the entire ground here consists only of red earth and stones, Tanja ties our boys to various gidyea trees. It makes no sense to let them graze under these circumstances. Whilst our partners are then listlessly picking at the trees, breaking their branches or simply sitting in the shade, we lie down on the camp beds. Despite the enormous heat, we fall asleep again and again. The body gets what it needs to regenerate. Accompanied only by my underpants, I stick to the fabric of the camp bed, bathed in my own juices. There are hardly any flies. It seems to be too hot and dry even for them. Every movement is strenuous and costs us immense effort.

It hardly cools down at night. We lie in our silk sleeping bags at 26° C to protect ourselves from the sand flies that haven’t made our lives any easier for some time now. Their stings itch indescribably and we have to be careful not to get scratched. I lie there with my eyes open and lose myself in the starry sky. My thoughts revolve around us humans. I keep asking myself why we often make it so difficult for ourselves? Why do we humans no longer see the beauty of the natural world around us and become trapped by self-produced problems without realizing it? Why so many of my kind build their own prison in their heads and raise the walls higher and higher with their intolerance and limited viewpoint until they can no longer even see the light of day. Completely clouded and believing they are doing everything right, these people walk through a trauma of misfortune in a valley of loneliness and don’t know why. They don’t know why their family and friends are distancing themselves from them and only a few ask themselves the question: “Is it me who is being ruthless and prejudiced?” Or. “Am I myself intransigent and narrow-minded? Am I taking advice from the wrong people? Do I have the wrong company? The wrong friends? Am I following the wrong goals? Should I change my perspective? Should I open up more? Maybe change my life?” No, we humans always try to look for our problems in the outside world. The other person is always the guilty party and only rarely does someone come to the realization that their own “self” is illuminating their own inner darkness. Many of us strive for enlightenment. Read great books but only a few put this knowledge into practice and begin to let light into their own inner selves. Some even misinterpret this knowledge and misuse it to justify their old life. I have even heard of people seeking out dubious fortune tellers to confirm their own actions. It is terrible to see how these poor beings fall deeper and deeper and are tortured and trapped in a tangle of misinterpreted spirituality. Many things are used to avoid having to change. Just don’t admit any mistakes. Of course, it’s easier at first to blame everything else and hold them responsible for the misfortune. Many people are too weak to realize how negatively they are being influenced. Hardly anyone thinks about it. Our own narrow-mindedness, blindness and fanaticism lead us into total confusion from which there is no escape for some.

I would like to contribute to helping these people. I would love to have the opportunity and the knowledge to free the prisoners of their own world. But it is a mystery to me how this could be done? It is not easy for me to shed light on my own “self”. To fill my own inner being with the light of knowledge and it seems to me that I still have to cross many deserts to get a clear answer.

I don’t know why these thoughts go through my head under such difficult living conditions, but I don’t want to stop them either. Quite often, the conversations with Mother Earth, with my own subconscious and with myself lead me to a pleasant and very useful result. As the desert always says; “Be patient Denis. Let it flow.”

A hot wind blows me out of my thoughts. Suddenly I start sweating profusely. Tired, I look at the thermometer, which is always next to me on the armrest of the folding chair. At first, I don’t think I can believe my eyes. The night has warmed up to 32° degrees. The hot wind rustles the dry leaves of the gidyeas. Rufus dreams loudly and keeps squeaking. A cloud front obscures a few stars in the distance. Surely there won’t be a change in the weather?