House of life

Day: 169 Stage three / total expedition days 560

Sunrise:
5:37

Sunset:
18:37

As the crow flies:
23,3

Daily kilometers:
27

Temperature - Day (maximum):
38° degrees, in the sun approx. 59°

Temperature - Night:
14.6° degrees

Latitude:
23°34'22.8"

Longitude:
143°59'55.3"

Ernestina Tank-Camp – 01.11.2002

According to the map, the name of the track has changed to Longreach Tocal Road. We are making good progress. We haven’t seen a car for a long time. The landscape looks unchanged. Almost everything is still brown from the sun, but the cattle seem to have more to eat here. In some of the huge fences we now discover more and more sheep grazing peacefully next to the cattle.

We have to bypass one of the cattle grids every seven kilometers. Some of the gates are quite old or have different locks. Sometimes rusty wires are wrapped around half-decayed gates and sometimes a barbed wire is pulled from post to post using a sophisticated tensioning technique. No two gates are the same. Over the years, Tanja and I have become real specialists when it comes to opening up these simple constructions. On average, it takes us no more than five minutes to get past the barriers. In a few cases, however, the gate is a long way from the grid. It then takes us 15 to 20 minutes to find and overcome it.

Not far from us, dark-feathered emus stalk through the yellow grass. They raise their heads curiously and watch our caravan. There are also kangaroos here in enormous numbers. It is not uncommon for large hordes of over 30 animals to cross the path. They also stop curiously to find out what kind of strange train we are and jump to safety as we approach.

Although the days pass without incident, we feel a permanent fatigue in our bones. Our vigor, confidence and joy in detail are increasingly lost in the eternity of constant challenges and stresses. Of course we have learned a lot and have become much stronger than we were before, but we both have the feeling that we are going beyond our limits with every additional kilometer. I can’t exactly say that I feel euphoric at this moment. I feel a little insecure. My thoughts are going round in circles. As so often in these moments, I look down at my feet and turn to Mother Earth. “Are you there? Mother Earth can you hear me?” “I’m always there. You know that.” “Why do I have these ups and downs? These ups and downs?” “You are a person on the way to getting to know yourself. A person who is open and therefore has a lot to digest. Don’t worry too much. These ups and downs are completely normal.” “I thought I was finally over this point. To finally be able to digest many experiences better.” “You’re impatient with yourself. Let it flow. You’re just painting a few walls in your house.” “What? How am I supposed to understand that?”

“Well, a human life can also be compared to building a house. First you lay the foundations. Then, over the years, you build the walls, add another floor and finally you put the roof on. When the shell of your house is finished, you start plastering the walls and furnishing the rooms. Then you start on the garden.” “You mean each of my experiences is another step towards building and improving the house of my life?” “That’s right.” “That’s a nice comparison. But what does that have to do with the ups and downs?” “The ups and downs are the waves of your emotional life. They tell you that you are in the constant process of expanding and beautifying your home.” “That sounds good. It’s a satisfying explanation. I think I understand.” “Of course you understand. You’re especially lucky to be so far along with your house construction. Some people build their house on a completely rotten foundation.” “Do you mean there are people who build their house on shaky pillars?” “However you want to put it, but that’s what it means.” “Will such houses eventually collapse?” “Yes.” “What does that mean?” “Well, there are people who make a lot of mistakes in their lives. If they don’t wake up, they don’t realize how the walls of their lives are cracking and crumbling. Eventually, whole chunks of their lives fall apart.” “What does that look like? I mean, can you give me an example?” “For example, people who keep repeating the same mistake will fall ill either physically or mentally. If they don’t try to change their lives or take a new direction, one of the walls will come tumbling down. A simple example of this is a smoker. At some point in their life, an organ will become diseased or even give up. Of course, there are millions of examples.”

“I understand. What about people whose parents are already ill? I mean parents who may be alcoholics and have already been damaged by their parents? Or parents who themselves suffer from major mental health problems and are unable to work on themselves? Could it be that their children are already putting their house on a foundation that is in danger of collapsing?” “Yes.” “Can you give me an example to help me understand?” “You’ve heard or seen thousands of examples yourself.” “I once heard of a father who witnessed his son kicking his daughter with his boots and although the poor girl screamed horribly, he didn’t intervene. Is that an example?” “Of course it is. It’s even a dramatic example. An experience like that can make a young person’s whole house blow up like a bomb explosion. Such a person will need a long time to rebuild trust. A mother or father is the most important person in a child’s life. When parents fail in the way you describe, they do a lot of damage.” “That’s very sad to hear.” “You know yourself that there are cases where parents torture their children physically and psychologically. Unfortunately, these beings are so sick themselves that they don’t realize the damage they cause with their actions. Thank God such cases are the exception. But even these children have a good chance of repairing the walls of their homes. They too can learn from their terrible experiences at any time in their future lives and turn them around. Some are even able to build a completely new house on a healthy foundation. When this happens, such beings are among those who are particularly good at helping other people. They know what it means to feel pain and therefore have a great understanding for others. Each of you is here on my skin to learn. Life is made up of experiences. Experiences are learned from. It is a repetitive cycle until you have learned so much that you no longer need experiences to be one with the divine energy…” “Thank you for the explanation. It’s hard to believe the things we are learning out here in the outback. I would never have thought that building the house of life had anything to do with our expedition.” “You know Denis, everything in this world is connected. Even your isolated life out here is a part of everything that is…”